


Bi Buddies, Pan Peaches, Great Gays.... and Jace

by lesbianclaryfray18



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bi Magnus Bane, Bi Maia Roberts, Clary and Izzy are roomates, Clary and Simon are BFFs, F/F, F/M, Gay Alec Lightwood, Jace and Alec are roomates, Jace is a Lightwood, Jewish Simon Lewis, Lesbian Clary Fray, M/M, Magnus and Raphael are roomates, Maia also has a single because she likes her space, Pan Isabelle Lightwod, Pan Simon Lewis, Simon has a single because I couldn't think of anyone for him to room with, jace is straight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 10:52:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16240145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianclaryfray18/pseuds/lesbianclaryfray18
Summary: AU where the Shadowhunters crew are all in college. Malec, Clizzy, and Saia are dating. Jace is the lone straight of the group. Shenanigans ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

Simon Lewis started a group chat. Simon added Clary Fray, Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood, Jace Lightwood, Magnus Bane, and Maia Roberts 

 

Simon: GROUP CHAT GROUP CHAT GROUP CHAT

Clary: WOOOOOO

Alec: No

Maia: No 

Simon: Betrayed

Simon: By my own girlfriend 

Simon: Truly this is the saddest day of my life

Clary: Sadder than when we tried to start a band and only our moms came to our first gig?

Simon: …second saddest day of my life

Maia: Sorry babe. But I generally hate group chats

Alec: And I hate everyone on here

Magnus: Wow. Now I know the pain Sheldon is feeling

Simon: It’s Simon

Magnus: Okay Sophie

Alec: Correction, I hate everyone except Magnus

Magnus: <3<3<3<3

Alec: And Izzy I guess

Isabelle: You better or I’ll kick your ass

Alec: And Maia cause she’s my best friend

Jace: What about me???

Alec: Who?

Jace: Your brother. And your literal roommate

Alec: Never heard of you

Jace: You suck 

Magnus: He sure does ;)))))

Clary: Ewwwww

Clary: I, an innocent lesbian, did not deserve that mental image

Simon: ANYWAY

Simon: Back to my BETRAYAL 

Simon: Maia the next time you come to my house I’m telling my mom not to make matzo ball soup

Maia: …..

Maia: Omg babe I love this group chat wow you’re so smart and handsome and did I mention that I loved you

Simon: :)))) knew it 

Jace: Eww what is matzo ball soup

Jace: It sounds gross

Simon: Jace you ignorant slut 

Clary: Jace you fucking idiot

Maia: Jace you pile of trash 

Jace: …Goddamn 

Jace: I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now 

Simon: Good

Simon: IT IS THE FOOD OF MY PEOPLE JACE LIGHTWOOD

Maia: It’s a Jewish food

Maia: Simon’s mom makes it the best. I had like 3 bowls last time I went over

Clary: Hell yeah Ms. Lewis’s food is the BOMB

Simon: DOT COM

Clary: DOT COM

Jace: Oh sorry I didn’t know. Sounds good

Simon: Hell fucking yeah it is

Simon: Also lol I’m not really mad. Google a picture of it. The next time I go back home I’ll get Mom to make it and I’ll bring back a Tupperware for you

Jace: Cool thanks bro

Simon: Bro

Clary: Bro

Isabelle: Bro

Maia: Bro

Magnus: Bro

Alec: Bro

Jace: What’s wrong with bro???

Magnus: It’s the straightest of all straight things to say 

Jace: You wound me bros. I thought we were friends bros. 

Maia: I will kick you out of this group chat right now so help me God

Magnus: I’ll help 

Magnus: I’ve got your back Maia

Maia: Hell yeah

Maia: Us bi’s gotta stick together

Magnus: Bi buddies!!!

Clary: Awww bi buddies

Magnus: Beautiful bi buddies

Maia: Beautiful bitching bi buddies

Magnus: HELL YES

Magnus: My next sign for Pride

Isabelle: So then me and Simon are pan… what’s a friendship word that starts with p?

Simon: Yay I get a pan buddy!!!!

Alec: Persons

Isabelle: You are literally the most boring person ever

Isabelle: How are we related

Isabelle: “Pan persons”

Jace: There’s no good worlds with p 

Simon: Peaches!

Isabelle: Wow

Jace: I rest my case

Simon: Too bad I said it and now it has stuck

Simon: We are now the pan peaches 

Isabelle: …I shall allow it but only because you’re the only other pansexual in the group. And know that I will wince every time I hear it. 

Simon: Yay!!! Pan peaches for the win!!!

Isabelle: Wince

Clary: There are no other lesbians here

Clary: I feel left out

Clary: I am a lonely lesbian

Isabelle: Aww babe :-(((( 

Jace: Alec is a gigantic gay

Jace: Because he is ungodly tall 

Isabelle: Yesssss

Magnus: That’s accurate. My boyfriend is a fucking giant 

Maia: Alec and Clary can be gay buddies

Clary: Alec would never go for that. He hates me

Alec: I only hate you sometimes. When you’re annoying

Clary: Awwww

Alec: Which is nearly all of the time don’t push yourself

Clary: :-(((((((((

Alec: But because it is for the Gays, I will team up 

Alec: We are now the Great Gays

Clary: :-)))))))))

Isabelle: Now that’s some true mlm/wlw solidarity 

Maia: Wow I can’t believe Clary and Alec just invented lesbian/gay solitarily 

Magnus: My boyfriend is iconic 

Alec: Aww Mags <3

Maia: He is S O F T 

Alec: NO I’M NOT FIGHT ME

Isabelle: My girlfriend is more iconic Magnus fight ME

Clary: Iz we’ve talked about this. No fighting anyone. 

Maia: Why is fighting every Lightwood’s solution to anything?

Jace: It’s in our very DNA

Alec: You’re adopted

Jace: It’s still in my DNA

Isabelle: I mean that’s true 

Alec: Yeah that’s still accurate 

Jace: We are a family of fighters

Jace: And back on the topic of everyone buddying up

Jace: I am the only one left. The lone straight of the group

Jace: A sad straight

Alec: Oh boo fucking who 

Magnus: No one cares Jimothy 

Jace: It’s Jace

Clary: Jimothy

Isabelle: Jimothy

Maia: What the fuck is Jimothy. Is that an actual name? If so that is the whitest fucking name I’ve ever heard

Simon: It’s the longer form of Jimmy. Like how Timmy is short for Timothy 

Maia: I know better than to trust you Si

Maia: It’s a meme isn’t it

Simon: …maybe

Clary: True love is when you know when your partner is referring to memes 

Simon: For real though

Jace: How did this even start

Magnus: You were sad about being the only straight in this group chat, Jerry 

Clary: No straights in the group chat ICONIC 

Jace: Magnus just said I was here

Simon: Wow I can’t believe there are no straights in this group chat

Jace: Guys I’m still right here

Magnus: Did someone say something? 

Jace: Guys

Maia: I didn’t hear anything 

Jace: GUYS

Alec: I didn’t hear anything either babe

Jace: I hate you all


	2. Chapter 2

Simon: If you had to pick one other person in this group chat to be with you in a zombie apocalypse who would you pick?

Isabelle: Well that was out of the blue 

Clary: Not if you know Simon it’s not 

Clary: At any given time he’s thinking of three things: Star Wars, music, or zombies 

Simon: That’s accurate 

Magnus: Solomon this is a terrible idea

Magnus: We’re all just going to choose our significant others 

Maia: Not if I want to survive I’m not

Maia: Simon wouldn’t last two seconds

Maia: No offense babe 

Simon: RUDE 

Simon: But also valid

Simon: But mostly rude

Simon: Okay so if you had to pick one person OTHER than your significant other

Simon: Who would it be?

Magnus: Other than Alexander? Maia or Isabelle

Isabelle: HECK YEAH

Maia: The bi buddies strike agai. 

Isabelle: Yeah any combination of Magnus, Maia, and myself would be a dream team. We’d kick some serious zombie ass

Isabelle: So Maia or Magnus for me

Maia: Hmmm

Maia: Maybe Alec. We’d be unstoppable. Although I’m fine with Magnus or Izzy too. 

Alec: I’d be okay with that 

Jace: Has no one considered me???

Jace: I can fight

Jace: I’d be an excellent asset to this hypothetical zombie team

Isabelle: Well you can’t ask me to choose between my brothers!!!

Isabelle: And no Clary since that’s against the rules

Isabelle: And I would like to live so, no offense Simon 

Simon: I’ve gotten used to it at this point

Isabelle: So Maia or Magnus it is

Jace: :-(((((((

Alec: I’d pick Jace. We’ve got each other’s backs 

Jace: YEAH THERE WE GO

Jace: FINALLY SOMEONE IS USING THEIR BRAIN

Jace: Yeah I’d pick Alec too 

Clary: I’d pick Simon

Alec: I’ll make a nice speech at your funeral

Clary: Really??? You would????

Alec: No I was joking

Clary: Fuck you, you got my hopes up

Simon: I’d pick Clary too 

Maia: Wow well you two are dead

Isabelle: I’d give them maybe a day

Isabelle: No offense babe 

Clary: Too late, I’m offended 

Maia: I’d give them a few hours at most

Simon: Okay but consider this: Clary and I have been best friends since SECOND GRADE 

Clary: YEAH BITCHES you think we haven’t thought of a plan????

Clary: Well you’d be right

Clary: BECAUSE WE’VE THOUGHT OF LIKE 17 THOUSAND PLANS

Simon: We have calculated out any and all scenarios

Simon: We got this 

Clary: We will survive longer than any of you

Clary: **high fives Simon**

Simon: **high fives Clary**

Alec: Wow how old are you again? 

Magnus: Okay so then what’s your plan?

Clary: Sorry Mags, but we can’t tell anyone. We swore a sacred oath. 

Simon: Over Clary’s gummy bears 

Simon: The sacred gummy bears

Clary: We will never speak a word.

Maia: … I am dating a weirdo

Isabelle: Same but I love Clary so I can forgive it

Clary: Love you too babe <3333

Simon: We will be the only ones left surviving the zombies 

Magnus: Well isn’t that a grim future left for our world 

Alec: Yeah I’ll pass

Simon: You guys are all mean to me

Magnus: You’re the one who started this group chat, now you have to deal with the consequences

Isabelle: SHOTS FIRED

Alec: That’s my boyfriend

Simon: Rude

Jace: Does he ever say anything other than “rude”???

Clary: ….

Maia: …. 

Magnus: …. 

Alec: ….

Isabelle: ….

Simon: ….

Simon: Rude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this was funny for you guys! Please leave a comment if you liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> I love group chat fics and I decided to write one of my own! 
> 
> I don't know if anyone else has the same problem, but I have not been able to read so many group chat fics that look great because characters have a username that does not resemble their name at all and my brain just can't keep track of who is who. So that's why everyone is just going by their real name in this. 
> 
> I don't know when I will next update -- whenever I find the time! I am busy in college but hopefully I'll be able to update soon.
> 
> Also I love Jewish Simon. My mom's side of the family is Jewish and we eat a lot of Jewish foods (matzo ball soup is my FAVORITE THING EVER) and I loved seeing some of those foods in the show. 
> 
> Please, please leave a comment if you enjoyed this or it made you laugh! It would make me so happy!


End file.
